We’ve all heard the quote, “There’s a special place in hell for women that don’t help other women,” but why? Why is supporting other women so important? In honor of International Women’s day and Women’s History Month, Ashley from Wine With Logan and I are here to tell you why girl power is so important. Here are “6 Reasons to Support the Women Around You:”
Only insecure women are afraid that another woman’s success will affect their own.
Ashley: Sharing your successes with others does not mean that you will fail; it truly only means that you are building other women up around you. If we can share with one another how we became successful and how we are achieving our goals, wouldn’t you think we would only prospering together in the end?
I hope to mentor a young lady just as I was mentored growing up. I want to share with her the ways around a business, inspire her to become all that she dreams of becoming and stand alongside her when she reaches the top. I don’t believe I would be the person I am today without the wonderful women in my life encouraging me and pushing me to hit my goals. And I didn’t just have one mentor; I think every strong woman that I came across in life was able to teach me something and that is more than I could have asked for. From my cheerleading coach back in Maryland, Mrs. Ford, to my third grade teacher who came to every one of my basketball games, Ms. Browser, to my first boss in college, Georgina, to the woman that raised me, my mother, each and every woman in my life has inspired me to be the highest type of womanhood.
Chloe: I can’t think of a single time I’ve helped another woman grow or been her mentor and thought, “Wow, I regret that.” Look at Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. How different would the entertainment industry (more specifically, comedy) if they had seen each other as competition versus as someone who could push them to be better? They celebrate each other’s successes and lift each other up versus cutting each other down, and because of that, they have been able to make huge strides for women in an industry where the wage gap between males and females is enormous. I haven’t run across a single woman who was confident in herself and her abilities that were willing to undercut another’s success.
2. The Stay-At-Home mom role is no longer feasible for most women, we should band together to help break glass ceilings
Ashley: We need to be there for one another and not just in the successes and failures but also in the smallest moments. For hundreds of years, women were taught to that we were to stay home, raise the kids, clean the house and cook dinner, but that’s not the case anymore; both men and women of the household are working full-time positions and many of those families have young children at home too. If we support our fellow females into just coming to work every day, making that stride against the stereotype we’ve been bred to know, fellow women in the workplace no longer feel the need to choose between the life at work and their life at home. Women will feel empowered to go after that promotion, break through the glass ceiling and become successful at work and in the home.
Chloe: I actually had an ex-boyfriend’s dad tell me that I wasn’t going to be a good wife to his son because I was too focused on my success to be focused on things like cooking, cleaning, and doting on his son like “the prince he is.” Yeah, seriously. As career women in the 21st century, we are expected to be everything our grandmothers and great-grandmothers were 50 or 70 years ago while also working 40 to 70 hour weeks and climbing the corporate ladder. I don’t know about you, but the pressure to be “Susie Homemaker” while also kicking ass in my career is a little overwhelming. This historical article from The Atlantic pretty much shows what goes through every woman’s mind while she’s juggling a career and home life. Being a working woman isn’t easy, and more than ever we could use the support of the women around us.
3. We should be less focused on physical beauty and more focused on bringing out the inner beauty of the women around us and ourselves
Ashley: From the day she is born to the day she dies, a woman feels the need to compete alongside every other woman that walks this earth, to be the prettiest, the tallest, the most skinny with the best hair and nicest clothes. Girls grow up with a stigma following them like a rain cloud over their heads saying “you’re not enough.”
Everyone has sisters or a mom, a daughter, a friend, someone who has been told that they are not sufficient because of their physical appearance; that they need to look like Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner. Of course, I think those women are beautiful, but we need to start teaching our daughters the importance of intelligence and education. I realized for the first time that my intellect was enough when my boyfriend once said to me “I love what is [out] here, but I love you for what’s [in] here more,” essentially telling me that he loved me as a whole and loves my body, yes, but he was in love with me for my intellect, my brain, my confidence. That’s when the light clicked on for me, and we need more people like that telling women that they are enough.
Chloe: This is such a HUGE thing for me since I’ve always struggled with having positive body image. Even at 23 I still feel like that chubby, insecure 7th grader who was picked on unmercifully for my weight, and I know I’m not the only woman who feels that way. As women, we are constantly told to be body positive and just to be ourselves while at the same time being told that we aren’t good enough unless we look a certain way or have a particular body type.
We have let corporations dictate to us what is beautiful and what isn’t, and that’s not okay. The next time you want to give someone a compliment try to stay clear of things that focus on physical beauty. Tell your friends that they are strong, capable, intelligent, resilient, etc. Anything but beautiful, because physical beauty is not what makes you a good person or even a person worth knowing.
4. Historically, when groups of women get together we have taken massive strides to change the world for the better
Ashley: Have you seen the movie Hidden Figures? What about Bend It Like Beckham? Okay, I know you’ve seen Legally Blonde. Yes, these are all movies, but they set great examples of when women empower each other to go after their dreams, have each other’s backs and that if women band together, we can make massive strides to reach our goals and to change the world. In these films, if it weren’t for the guidance, support, and motivation from other women around them they wouldn’t have gotten that rocket into space, or won the soccer game, or even stop a giant corporation testing products on animals.
Take a look at the Women’s March that took place not too long ago. Women came together to stand for a cause that they believed in. Keep your goals big and your dreams bigger, tell your girlfriends about it and have each other’s backs, you’ll be able to achieve greatness; whether it’s studying hard for an exam coming up, making the most sales this quarter at work, or being the first woman to become President of The United States, stick together and you’ll go far.
Chloe: Can we just talk about how a group of women banded together in the early 19th century because they were fed up that they did not have voting rights and how those effects rippled through history? Without Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and countless other women would not only have zero right to vote, but the chances of us having access to birth control and rape crisis centers, having a place outside the home and in higher education, and having a voice in this world would be slim to none. To them, they were just fighting for an inalienable right. They had no idea the effect they would have on women’s right for the next 100-200 years and will continue to have. Even if it just seems like you’re completing a small or insignificant task or goal, never forget the work you do with other women can change the world.
5. Let’s cut the pettiness and say something positive
Ashley: Do you remember when our parents and teachers used to say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all,” I don’t think they meant “if you don’t have anything nice to say, be passive aggressive and remember to tweet how petty you are about the situation.”
I must admit, I live for reading up on the latest celebrity feud, but I also believe that feuds between Kimye and Taylor Swift, Soulja Boy and Lil Yachty and Beyonce and whoever Becky is with the good hair are also teaching our generation that it’s okay to post your passive aggressive beef on Twitter and Instagram. Women are hard enough on our own selves; we don’t need other women to add to that. If you don’t like another person, you don’t have to go out of your way to be ‘petty’ on the internet or when you see them at the grocery store; this only creates negativity in their life and yours as well. Stay positive, surround yourself with positivity and say something positive to someone you love today.
Chloe: I love hanging out with women, and I have never been one of those girls who enjoys hanging out with men more than women. I see a strength and something to be learned from every woman I meet. On the other hand, as magical as I think women are we are not perfect.
Women tend to engage in psychological warfare much more than men. Whereas men would just brawl it out, women take out their frustrations on each other with words and mind games. We fight dirty and mean. We leave psychological scars on each other that reverberate for a lifetime. I’m sure reading this a verbal jab a woman threw at you as far back as elementary school came back to you. Words hurt and stick. Be gentle and positive to the women around you. Be honest about your feelings and where you stand. Passive aggressiveness is a tool used by immature and insecure little girls. Honesty is always in a strong woman’s repertoire.
6. The attention of a man is never worth degrading other women; sisters.
Ashley: My Junior year of college my best friend broke up with me over a man that I had no romantic interest in, to begin with. To this day I tell myself that I will never lose a friend that I love, care about and put my life into getting to know over someone that didn’t mean as much to me as my friend does. There are many purposes in life, and I believe one of them is finding someone to live life with, a partner-in-crime, soulmate, best friend, husband, life partner, or whatever you want to label it as, but I also believe there are other purposes in life; having girlfriends, going on adventures, traveling the world. I don’t think trying to find your one true love is worth stepping over everyone you already love.
Learn to love yourself, give yourself attention and take care of your mind, body, and soul. Once you learn to do that, you won’t feel the need to tear other women down for the love, attention, and care of a man because you have simply done it for yourself
Chloe: I have yet to meet a guy that was so spectacular that he was worth hurting another woman over. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean I haven’t done just that. I think from childhood we are groomed to see each other as competition for male attention. A woman getting more male attention than us generally makes us question our worth and what’s wrong with us. There’s a Rupi Kaur poem that changed my whole view on this subject and that I think every woman should read, “You tell me I am not like most girls and learn to kiss me with your eyes closed. Something about the phrase- something about how I have to be unlike other the women I call sisters to be wanted makes me want to spit your tongue out. Like I am supposed to be proud, you picked me? As if I should be relieved you think I am better than them.” Powerful, right? While men and love are great, I think women would be much more content if we stopped pitting ourselves against one another and focused less on finding “the one” and more on building up people around us and “being the one” for ourselves.
What are YOU doing to support the women around you? What are some other reasons you think should be on this list? Let us know in the comments!