Men Say They Want a Strong Woman, Until They Get One

One brutal fact all strong women find in life? Most men say they want a strong woman, until they get one.

They love that you’re strong until it means they can’t walk all over you.

They love that you’re independent until they realize it means you don’t need them.

They love that you’re ambitious until it takes time away from them or they realize you’re more successful than them.

They love that you’re intelligent until they realize that means you have your own opinions.

men say they want a strong woman

If you’re a strong, independent, ambitious, and intelligent woman you’ve seen the same scenario over and over again. You meet a guy, and said guy praises you for all the above qualities. Things are great until he pulls away from you, either from his own securities or because you’re just “too much.” It ends, and they move on to someone that’s a little bit easier to handle than you. You’re left wondering, “Will I ever find a man who is not only on my level, but willing to accept I’m on his (or higher)?

As a woman who’s tired of being a good woman to men who aren’t ready, I’m tired of feeling like I have to hold back everything I have to offer because I’m “too much.” I shouldn’t have to water down my ambition, my accomplishments, or what I want in life because it makes someone uncomfortable. In a world that told us we could be anything and little girls, we’ve found what they really mean is “not too much of anything.” That’s the thing with strong women though, we don’t half-ass anything. We don’t half-ass our friendships, we don’t half-ass our dreams, and we don’t half-ass our relationships, and we shouldn’t have to. Yet, it constantly feels like we need to in order to find love.

men say they want a strong woman

Daisy Buchanan hit the nail on the head when she said, “I hope she’ll be a fool- that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” Intelligent women need and want someone who is going to help them grow and learn new things, and supposedly most men do too- until you disagree with them or they think that you’re smarter than them in any way. Then they’re asking and telling you, “why do you always have to argue?” or “you’re not as smart as you think you are.” The lesson learned after they’re done trying to break you down is, “if I had just kept my mouth shut, none of this would have happened.” So, we either buckle or we say “goodbye” because we know our opinions and thoughts matter.

I can’t reassure myself or you and say, “don’t worry, we’ll find someone who can handle all that we are someday,” because I don’t ever know if we will. There are countless great women throughout history who never did get married or had children who lived incredibly fulfilling and successful lives (Oprah, Shonda Rhimes, or Harper Lee to name a few). There are tons of great women who do find love. I think that’s one of the most magical things about being a strong woman who can rely on herself though. We don’t need anyone to complete us, and we can see our worth enough not to compromise ourselves for the sake of having a warm body in bed next to us every night. If someone comes along who can help us grow and will support us in everything we do? Great. If not, at least we have it within us to build fulfilling lives on our own. So, Most men say they want a strong woman, until they get one, but all strong women know their worth enough not to compromise it for someone who can’t fully appreciate them.

Do you feel this way? What are some ways you think we can combat these types of feelings as strong women? Let us know in the comments!

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About Chloe

Chloe is a San Antonio, TX native who loves margaritas and brunch almost as much as she loves reading a good book and a catching up on Empire. Learn more about Just a Girl in This World, click on the "About" tab in the main menu.