Recently, I went to my first sorority recruitment as an alumna. At one point, I was resting my feet and sitting and talking to the girls who were not currently in a round. I said something about my childhood that I’m relatively open about, and a sister I’ve known for two years said: “Wow, that’s crazy I never knew that about you.” This kind of opened up my eyes to the fact that you can be in a sorority for four years, and still know almost nothing about some of your sisters. One of my biggest regrets with how I used my time in college was waiting until the end of my junior year to branch out of my social circle and meet new people- especially my sisters. While I had an overall positive college experience, I realized at the end of my senior that there was so much I didn’t do, or people I never reached out to that would have made it even better. Check out my tips on how to forge strong bonds with your sorority sisters below.
Branch out of your clique
While we all like to say that we are all besties and don’t segregate into groups, we all know that’s not the truth, and there’s nothing wrong with that (to an extent). It’s human nature to gravitate towards people we feel that we connect with more. While it may be hard to step out of your comfort zone, if you want to feel a closer bond with your sisters you have to branch out of your social click. Don’t usually go to a particular bar on Wednesday nights? Then switch things up and go with a group of sisters that do. Have you been wanting to start going to church? Reach out to a sister you know that does. Wanting to tighten up your bod before spring break? Hit up a sister who you know loves to work out. There are plenty of opportunities to widen your social horizons within your chapter.
Reach out to a sister you don’t know much about
Something I loved about my sorority was that we had mandatory “sisterhood dates” once a month with a sister we didn’t know. Our sisterhood chairwoman would match girls up, and you could guarantee you’d never get matched up with a sister you knew very well. I always found out something I didn’t know about them before and left with a little more insight into who they were as a person. The same thing happened every time I randomly went to lunch with a sister, decided to get my nails done with, or even just sat down and had a conversation with them. If you want to get to know more about a sister you don’t know all too well, then reach out to her! Besides putting your pride aside a bit, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Sit with your sisters during class
Lol, shocker right? But seriously, I know it can be a little nerve wrecking to go up and sit with someone you hardly know even is she is your ‘sister.” Perks to doing this go beyond making a new friend. You’ll gain a study buddy, someone who’s guaranteed to send you notes when you’re “sick,” and someone to make fun of the weird TA with or talk about how ridiculous your professor is. I met three of the women who most impacted my college career by just going up to them and sitting with them for the rest of the semester.
Hang out with a different fraternity or group of guys
Like most sorority chapters, mine was separated between what girls spent time with what fraternity. From the beginning, i realized this was a pathetic display of womanhood on our part. Why the hell do we let a group of BOYS (notice I didn’t say “men” ladies) define who we can have relationships with or our social status? IT’S STUPID, AND WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT! Okay, now that my rant is over here’s an example of how said “screw that” to the social norm. I’m a two-time sweetheart for Kappa Sigma (and engaged to a brother). One of my closest sisters is a sweetheart for Lambda Chi Alpha (and basically engaged to a brother). I think we were both hesitant at first starting a friendship since we were so loyal to our social groups, but we got over it, and she’s now a bridesmaid in my wedding. Our friendship even helped mend the strain between the two groups of guys. Moral of the story is, stop. Letting. Boys. Control. your . actions. Besides getting the chance to get to know more about your sisters, it doesn’t hurt to switch things up a bit.
& most importantly….
Always have an open heart
I’ll be the first to admit one of my weaknesses is how judgmental I am. I *THINK* I have a natural sixth sense for feeling people out when first meeting them, and while I’m mostly always right, I have written off some cool people. One of the most paramount experiences to my sorority career was our weekly sisterhood circle. After every meeting, we would stand in a circle holding hands to give girls who wanted to talk about something positive or negative happening in their lives a chance to open up. Without a doubt, there was always a sister that I had dismissed, disliked, or just didn’t make the effort to get to know who talked about a struggle in her life that opened my eyes and heart to her. It’s easy to judge someone’s actions or attitude when you don’t know them very well, but it’s a lot harder to judge someone for not coming around the sorority very much if you know they have crippling depression or anxiety. Perspective is everything, and it’s best to keep your’s clear.